Family Meeting Guide

What you will need

• What is the one thing you want to discuss? (text): One issue per meeting works best, for example chores, screen time or a new routine.
• Age of the youngest person joining (years): Sets how long the meeting should be.
• Does the issue involve violence, abuse or someone being afraid? (yes/no): A family meeting is not the right place for this.
• Who will be there? (text): More detail. Include grandparents, step-parents or relatives who help raise the children.
• Day and time (text): More detail. Choose a calm time, not straight after school or work.

How it works

IF involves_harm == yes: do not produce a meeting plan; explain that abuse needs outside help and show the safety panel (SAPS 10111, GBV Command Centre 0800 428 428, Childline 116) plus a counsellor callback. ELSE length_minutes = 10 if youngest_age < 6; 15 if 6-9; 20 if 10-12; 30 if 13+ or adults only. Agenda: 1 appreciation round, each person names one good thing about someone else (2 min); 2 check last meeting's actions (2 min); 3 state the issue neutrally (parent reads a prepared one-sentence version with no blame); 4 everyone speaks once without interruption using a talking object, youngest first; 5 brainstorm solutions, all ideas written down, none criticised; 6 choose one solution to try for a week, with who does what by when; 7 end with something enjoyable (a snack, a game). Ground rules shown on screen: one person speaks at a time, no put-downs, adults have the final say on safety, anyone can ask for a 5-minute break. Output an action list with owner and date, and a reminder to review next week.

What you get

• Your meeting agenda
• Suggested length
• Agreed actions template

What it means

• This needs outside help rather than a family meeting, and support is available now.
• First meetings can feel awkward, so keep it short and end on a positive note.
• Keep to one issue, stick to the time and try the agreed solution for a week before judging it.

Next step: Want help interpreting this? A Cleared Mind counsellor can help if meetings keep breaking down: call 0800 212 146.

Runs on the device. Nothing is saved unless the member chooses.