Spotting a colleague who is struggling

We often spend more waking hours with colleagues than with family. That closeness means we are sometimes the first to notice when someone is not okay, even before they notice it themselves.

What it is

Spotting a struggling colleague means picking up on changes in behaviour, mood or performance that suggest someone is finding things difficult, whether due to stress, a mental health condition, a personal crisis, or burnout. You do not need to be a mental health professional to notice these changes or to reach out with care. You just need to be paying attention and willing to have a human conversation.

Signs to notice

• A usually punctual, reliable colleague starting to miss deadlines or arrive late
• Withdrawal from conversations, lunch breaks or team activities
• Noticeable changes in appearance, energy or concentration
• Increased irritability, tearfulness, or uncharacteristic outbursts
• Talking about feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, or "unable to cope"
• Increased absenteeism or presenteeism (being physically present but clearly unwell)

What helps

• Find a private, low-pressure moment to check in, such as over coffee rather than in an open-plan office.
• Use open, non-judgemental language: "I've noticed you seem a bit stretched lately. How are you doing?"
• Listen more than you speak. You do not need to solve their problem, just to hear them.
• Avoid diagnosing or assuming you know what is wrong. A professional can assess what is happening; your role is to notice and care.
• Gently mention the EAP as a confidential, judgement-free option, without pushing.
• Respect their pace. If they are not ready to talk, let them know the door is open.
• Follow up. A single check-in is good; a pattern of checking in shows you mean it.

When to reach out for help

If a colleague mentions feeling hopeless, talks about not wanting to be here anymore, or you are seriously worried about their safety, take this seriously and encourage them to speak to a professional immediately. If you believe someone is in immediate danger, do not leave them alone and contact emergency services.

Getting help in South Africa

Cleared Mind's EAP counsellors are available for both the colleague who is struggling and for you, if you need guidance on how to support them. You can also share the SADAG Mental Health Line, 011 234 4837, as a starting point. Noticing someone and reaching out, even imperfectly, can be the first step towards them getting help.

---

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, reach out now. SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline (24h): 0800 567 567 or SMS 31393. SAPS 10111, ambulance 10177, GBV Command Centre 0800 428 428.