Tech and children

Raising a child in a digital world can feel like a moving target, and it is normal to feel unsure about how much is too much.

What it is

Tech and children refers to how young people use phones, tablets, gaming devices and social media, and how this shapes their mood, sleep, learning and relationships. Screens are not automatically harmful, but the amount of use, the content, and what it replaces (like sleep, play or face-to-face time) all matter. As a parent or caregiver, your role is less about total control and more about guidance, structure and staying involved.

Signs to notice

• Meltdowns or anxiety when a device is taken away or unavailable.
• Sleep problems linked to late-night screen use.
• Withdrawal from family activities, friends or hobbies they used to enjoy.
• Secretive behaviour around devices, or distress about online content or contacts.
• Drop in schoolwork, concentration or mood that seems tied to screen time.
• Exposure to content that feels too mature, frightening or upsetting for their age.

What helps

• Set clear, age-appropriate boundaries together with your child rather than imposing rules with no explanation - this builds cooperation rather than secrecy.
• Keep bedrooms screen-free at night where possible, and charge devices outside the room.
• Use parental controls and privacy settings as a support tool, not a replacement for conversation.
• Model the behaviour you want to see - children notice when adults are also glued to screens.
• Talk openly and without judgement about what they see online, including anything upsetting, so they feel safe coming to you.
• Encourage offline activities - sport, reading, creative play, family time - so tech is one part of life, not the centre of it.
• Agree on tech-free times, like meals or the first hour after school.

When to reach out for help

Consider getting professional support if your child's device use is affecting their sleep, schoolwork or friendships for several weeks, if they seem anxious or low and it is linked to online experiences, or if you discover they have been exposed to bullying, grooming or harmful content. A professional can assess the situation and help you and your child find a healthier balance.

Getting help in South Africa

Cleared Mind's EAP counsellors can support parents and caregivers working through tech-related concerns with children, including practical strategies and referrals where needed. For general mental health support and guidance, SADAG's Mental Health Line is available on 011 234 4837. If a child ever discloses abuse or you suspect they are in danger, contact the GBV Command Centre on 0800 428 428 or SAPS on 10111.