Men and substance use

Substance use can feel like a quick way to switch off a hard day. For many men, though, it slowly becomes the main way of managing feelings that are never actually addressed.

What it is

Substance use, most commonly alcohol, is a common coping strategy for stress, anxiety, depression or unprocessed emotion. Men are more likely than women to use substances to manage distress rather than talk about it, partly because drinking is often socially normalised and even encouraged as a way to "unwind" or "be one of the guys." Over time, this can shift from an occasional coping tool into a dependency that masks the original problem.

Signs to notice

• Drinking or using substances specifically to cope with stress, sadness or anger.
• Needing more to get the same effect, or drinking earlier in the day.
• Hiding or minimising how much you're using with those close to you.
• Missing work, family time or commitments because of use.
• Irritability or anxiety when you can't access the substance.
• Using it to avoid difficult conversations or feelings.

What helps

• Notice the "why," not just the "how much." What feeling are you usually trying to escape or numb?
• Build in alcohol-free days. Regular breaks help you see your relationship with the substance more clearly.
• Find another release valve. Exercise, music, talking to someone, or time outdoors can serve a similar purpose without the cost.
• Be honest with someone. A friend, partner or professional who knows the full picture can help you course-correct sooner.
• Track your triggers. Notice which situations, people or emotions tend to precede heavier use.
• Get professional support if it's become hard to control. Substance use disorders are treatable, and reaching out is a strong, practical step.

When to reach out for help

Reach out if you can't cut down even when you want to, if use is affecting your work, relationships, health or finances, if you're using to cope rather than to enjoy, or if loved ones have expressed concern. A professional can assess what's happening and support a path forward.

Getting help in South Africa

• SADAG Mental Health Line: 011 234 4837, for support and referrals to substance use services.
• SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline (24h): 0800 567 567 or SMS 31393.
• Cleared Mind's EAP counsellors can support you confidentially, without judgement, and connect you to specialised services where needed.