Gender-based violence: recognising it

Gender-based violence can be physical, emotional, sexual or financial - learning the signs is the first step to safety.

2 min read · Awareness resource · Reviewed 2026-09-15

You deserve to feel safe, respected and free from fear in your relationships and your home. If something has felt wrong for a while, it is worth understanding what gender-based violence actually looks like.

What it is

Gender-based violence, often called GBV, is any harmful act directed at someone because of their gender. It includes physical violence, but it also includes emotional abuse, sexual coercion, financial control and stalking. GBV can happen in intimate relationships, families, workplaces or communities. It is never the fault of the person experiencing it, no matter what was said or done before it.

Many people picture GBV as only physical violence, but abuse is often quieter than that. It can look like constant put-downs, being isolated from friends and family, having your movements monitored, or being made to feel like you are always the problem.

Signs to notice

Feeling afraid of a partner's, family member's or colleague's reactions or moods
Being controlled around money, who you see, or where you go
Repeated criticism, humiliation or being blamed for the other person's behaviour
Pressure or force around sexual activity, even within a relationship or marriage
Physical harm, or threats of harm, to you, your children or your pets
Feeling like you are "walking on eggshells" in your own home

What helps

Trust what you are feeling. If something feels wrong, it usually is, even if you cannot yet name it.
Start keeping a private, safe record of incidents, dates and any evidence, if it is safe to do so.
Talk to someone you trust. Isolation is one of the ways abuse keeps its grip - reconnecting with people is protective.
Learn about safety planning before you need it. Small preparations now can matter later.
Remember that recognising abuse is not the same as having to act immediately. You can take this one step at a time.

When to reach out for help

Reach out as soon as you can if you feel unsafe, if the behaviour is escalating, if children are involved or at risk, or if you are unsure whether what you are experiencing "counts" as abuse. You do not need to have all the answers or be in physical danger right now to deserve support. A trained counsellor or social worker can help you make sense of what is happening and what your options are.

Getting help in South Africa

Cleared Mind's EAP counsellors are available to talk through what you are experiencing, in confidence and without judgement. The GBV Command Centre operates a 24-hour helpline on 0800 428 428, offering counselling, information and referrals. SADAG's Mental Health Line (011 234 4837) can also connect you with emotional support. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, contact SAPS on 10111.

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, reach out now. SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline (24h): 0800 567 567 or SMS 31393. SAPS 10111, ambulance 10177, GBV Command Centre 0800 428 428.