Talking to teens about mental health

Many parents worry about saying the "wrong thing" when it comes to mental health, and end up saying nothing at all. The truth is, small, honest conversations - repeated often - matter far more than one perfect talk.

What it is

Talking to teens about mental health means creating an ongoing, open dialogue about emotions, stress and coping - not just reacting when something goes wrong. It involves normalising that everyone has mental health, just as everyone has physical health, and that it's okay to need support sometimes. For many South African families, mental health can still carry stigma or silence, which makes these conversations even more valuable when they do happen.

Signs to notice

• A young person struggling to name or describe what they're feeling.
• Avoiding conversations about emotions, or shutting down quickly when asked "how are you".
• Believing that needing help is a sign of weakness or failure.
• Bottling up stress until it shows up as anger, withdrawal or physical complaints like headaches or stomach aches.

What helps

• Choose low-pressure moments for conversation - side by side in the car, during a walk, rather than face-to-face interrogation.
• Ask open questions like "what's been on your mind lately" rather than yes-or-no questions.
• Share your own feelings and coping strategies to model that talking about emotions is normal.
• Listen to understand, not to immediately fix or lecture - sometimes they just need to be heard.
• Avoid dismissive phrases like "you have nothing to worry about" - even if the concern seems small to you, it's real to them.
• Normalise professional support the same way you'd normalise seeing a doctor for a physical concern.
• Keep the door open even after a difficult conversation - one awkward talk doesn't close the relationship.

When to reach out for help

Encourage professional support if a young person shows persistent changes in mood, sleep, appetite, or behaviour, withdraws significantly from family and friends, or expresses feeling hopeless or overwhelmed. You don't need to wait for a crisis - early conversations with a professional can prevent things from escalating.

Getting help in South Africa

Cleared Mind's EAP counsellors are available to support both young people and parents in building open, healthy conversations about mental health. SADAG's Mental Health Line (011 234 4837) offers guidance, and is a helpful first call if you're not sure where to start.