Caring for Someone With Cancer

A cancer diagnosis turns family life upside down. You may be driving to treatments, managing side effects, dealing with medical aid, and keeping everyone's spirits up, while hiding your own fear. Feeling overwhelmed, scared or even angry is common for cancer carers.

What is happening

Cancer treatment in South Africa can mean long days at oncology units, travel to a bigger town for radiotherapy, waiting lists in the public sector, and complex medical aid rules in the private sector. Many cancers are covered as Prescribed Minimum Benefits on medical aid, but there can still be co-payments and paperwork. Ask the oncology team or hospital social worker to explain what is covered and what is not.

Treatment side effects, such as tiredness, nausea, pain, low immunity and mood changes, often mean your loved one needs more help at home for a while. Keeping track of medicines, appointments, symptoms and questions for the doctor makes a big difference. So does knowing which symptoms need urgent attention, such as a high fever during chemotherapy.

The emotional side can be the hardest. Your loved one may be frightened, withdrawn or irritable. You may feel you must stay positive all the time. It is okay to talk honestly, to cry together, and to make space for faith, prayer or rituals that bring comfort. If the cancer cannot be cured, palliative care focuses on comfort and quality of life, and it can start early, alongside treatment. See our articles on anticipatory grief and preparing for the end of life.

Signs to notice

• You are the main person managing appointments, medicines and meals
• You feel you must be strong all the time and cannot show fear
• Work and income are under pressure from time off
• You are unsure which symptoms are an emergency
• Medical costs and medical aid rules are causing stress
• Your own sleep, eating and health are slipping

30-second self-check

Answer yes or no. Go with your first honest answer.

• Are you unsure which symptoms should send you to hospital straight away?
• Are medical costs causing serious money worries?
• Are you taking a lot of time off work and worried about your job?
• Do you feel you cannot talk honestly with your loved one about how things are going?
• Are you sleeping badly or feeling low most days?
• Is there no one else sharing the caring load?

0-1 yes: You are managing the caring role. Keep asking questions and accepting help.
2-3 yes: The load is growing. Share tasks, and ask the treatment team for more guidance and support.
4 or more yes: You are carrying too much. Please speak to the hospital social worker or a counsellor soon.

What you can do next

• Today: Write down the emergency symptoms the treatment team has told you about, and keep the list on the fridge.
• This week: Set up a shared calendar or group chat so family and friends can take turns with lifts, meals and visits.
• This month: Ask about medical aid cover, any disability or income protection policies, and SASSA grants if income has dropped.
• Talk to your employer about flexible hours or leave. Our Work hub has guidance on caring and work.

Your tool

Caregiver Weekly Planner - a planner for treatment days, medicines, meals, lifts and your own rest, so the whole family can see who is helping when.

When to get professional help

Get help if you are exhausted, anxious or low most days, if you feel you cannot cope with your loved one's symptoms at home, or if money pressure is overwhelming. Palliative care and hospice teams also support carers, not only patients.
Who can help: nurse, doctor, social worker, counsellor, psychologist, home care service, FSCA-authorised insurance adviser

Getting help in South Africa

CANSA (cansa.org.za) offers information, support groups and care services for people with cancer and their families. The Hospice Palliative Care Association of South Africa can help you find a hospice near you. Oncology units and hospitals have social workers. The Cleared Mind 24-hour Careline on 0800 212 146 can connect you to a counsellor.