Understanding grief and its stages

Grief is the natural response to loss - of a person, but also of health, a job, a relationship or a way of life. It is not a sign of weakness or something to "get over," but a process we move through, each in our own way.

What grief can involve

• Emotions: sadness, numbness, anger, guilt, relief, longing
• Body: tiredness, appetite and sleep changes, aches, a hollow chest
• Mind: disbelief, difficulty concentrating, searching for the person
• Spirit: questioning meaning, faith or the future

There are no neat stages

Grief comes in waves, not tidy steps. Triggers - a song, a smell, an anniversary - can bring it flooding back months later. That is normal.

What helps

• Let yourself feel it, at your own pace
• Talk about the person and your loss with people who can listen
• Keep gentle routines - sleep, food, small movement
• Honour cultural and spiritual practices that matter to you
• Be patient; there is no timeline

When to seek help

If grief feels stuck, all-consuming, or brings thoughts of not wanting to live, please reach out.

Getting help in South Africa

Cleared Mind counsellors, or SADAG 011 234 4837.

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In immediate danger? SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline (24h): 0800 567 567 or SMS 31393. SADAG Mental Health Line 011 234 4837. SAPS 10111, ambulance 10177, GBV 0800 428 428.